Bagaimana Social Media dapat menimbulkan Masalah

Infidelity has many forms. Besides the commonly known physical infidelity, you can now be unfaithful emotionally and mentally, while you are online.

Whether you are married, unmarried, or in a relationship, I am sure this post will have some lessons to take away and keep for life.

These are the times when you see and hear many people getting into affairs, on the social networking sites.

Social media cheating is what I would call it, as it’s about people getting intimate emotionally and mentally with someone other than their spouse.

Of course, many a times these virtual relationships take a real form and create a parallel in the real world to the relationships that people have with their spouses.

It’s a fact that the place most people consider safe to cheat on their spouse is the social media. It mostly starts there! Don’t tell me you don’t know about it all! ;)

RELATED READ: Does Online Social Networking Friendship Really Work

But quite often these social media cheaters are caught red-handed. And once that happens, usually the sky falls on their marriage, which is destroyed beyond repair.

Social media and social network are the cause of many relationship issues, divorces, or marriage failures.

So, there are two things to learn – not to use the social media to cheat on your partner and spouse. If you do, then know that it can lead to an irreparable breakup and even divorce.

However, like the knife and the AK47, which aren’t inherently bad, the social media too wasn’t made to break marriages or destroy relationships.

It’s because of their negative use by people that these objects and services get a bad name.

At the same time, you have to understand that social media and social networks have a great influence on people, and you need to learn to use it sensibly and avoid the pitfalls.

“When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.” ~ John Gray

DO READ: Poor Communication Leads To Relationship Problems

Influence of Social Media on Infidelity

I’m sure many of you will agree that cheating on your partner or spouse on the social media is a big temptation.

There could be many reasons as to why couples cheat, but you all know that many do!

I know of people who aren’t happy in their relationships and marriages, and they are online, finding someone else!

They have even asked me at times to connect them with some person. I tried talking them out of it, but that is their personal issue, which one cannot probe further.

While there are some who are unhappy in their relationship and marriage, and cheat their partner and spouse by trying to flirt!

Oh yes they try their best, especially on Facebook, where you make friend’s because someone sends you a friend request, only to realize later what their intention was.

I am sure many ladies here would agree with me, and perhaps it’s the same with men who are approached by women who seek another!  :)

In such a case you need to be very clear and curt about what you want, so that they understand and don’t bother you again.

If they do – just remove them from your friend list. But this just goes to prove the point I am trying to make in this post, so read on!

Sometimes you may tend to use the social media or the social networking sites as dating sites.

You may start out rather innocently or even intentionally, and soon one thing leads to another. In this process, your conversation becomes more casual and personal, and even flirty!

You try to find an outlet or someone who can lend you an ear, with whom you can discuss your day-to-day life or dreams, and disappointments, instead of your spouse or partner.

It is called digital infidelity.

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Digital Infidelity

The digital world is like your dream world.

You’re in cyberspace where no one knows you, and you can pretend and portray yourself as you like.

There is no one watching you, your moves, the connections you make, and what all you do!

You can tweak your image and control how you’re perceived by people. You can impress people and spell your magic through words and deceptive appearances.

One reason why social media becomes a risk for your marriage and relationship is because you tend to exchange intimate information in your virtual communication without feeling fearful or guilty.

Sometimes people even have romantic or sexual conversations on the social networking sites thinking that a few flirty messages or emails don’t mean they are cheating!

It all seems harmless.

Quite often people do that even in the presence of their spouses but on their Smartphone or laptop screens, without others and their spouse getting to know of it.

But when you are going through a rough patch in your existing relationship, these back burners or online friends become your temptations and might even lead you to commit adultery.

With the adoption of social media by the masses, the chances are that you might meet your ex-flame online, or someone you had a crush on in your past.

 You are then tempted to live a life that you couldn’t live earlier, and continue a digital relationship with someone whom you couldn’t have a real one with in your past.

Isn’t this purely cheating on your spouse or partner and your recent marriage or relationship?

But whether real or virtual, any relationship needs your involvement, takes your time, and apparently affects the other aspects of life.

Your partner or spouse may notice all that you are up to and consider that as cheating.

He or she may consider infidelity as sharing your physical, mental, and emotional intimacy with some other.

Here’s an infographic that shows how social media has proved to be a decisive factor in the increasing divorces.

Do not use the facts presented in this infographic to find smarter ways to cheat on your spouse.

Instead, use them to learn to control your usage of social media and define your limits so you don’t hurt your marriage through it.

There are many other reasons why people have affairs and they are discussed in this post “7 Top Signs That Your Spouse Might Be Having An Affair”, which also tells you about the signs indicating that your spouse is having an affair.

“When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra

Social Media Cheating, Infidelity, and Divorce

Source: TotalDivorce

social-media-cheating-infographic

Social media cheating isn’t only the story of a few Americans, just because it occurs there the most.

Instead, it is becoming a trend all over the world now including in places like India, Nigeria, United Kingdom, Australia, and many other countries.

“Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” ~ Wayne Dyer

How to Avoid Divorce and Relationship Issues Due to Social Networking Activities

People are getting divorced, separated, and distanced by using the social media and networks, which were meant to connect people and build relationships.

It is evident that Facebook is the leader of the pack of social networking sites. It is being used the most by lawyers, as proof in the courts to prove infidelity and win the case.

This is probably a reminder that you need to act responsibly on the social media and social networking sites. Here are a few tips:

• Every update and action performed on these sites should be inspected from all perspectives.
• Remember that anything can hurt you, your loved ones and others, or could even be used against you.
• It’s good to be yourself and not pretend to be someone else, not only offline but online as well.
• If you find yourself flirting on social media and other networking sites, especially Facebook, stop yourself.
• Realize – this is a sign that your personal relationship with your partner or spouse needs attention and revival.
• If you are having problems then work on making your relationship better rather than spending time seeking another!

MUST READ: How to Become Best Friends with Your Spouse

Cheating is a risky behavior that mostly likely will produce negative results.

Whatever be the cause that leads to it, know that cheating can become addictive and a form of repeated behavior.

That’s why people say a cheater will always be a cheater because cheating can also run in your genes. So, be aware and remain alert!

It’s time that you understand and take control of yourself.

Don’t let your desires and needs of sexual pleasures drive you to a deadly situation of a disastrous marriage or severe relationship issues.

Be responsible. Be in control. Be wise.

Social media is a wonderful tool; don’t use it to cheat on your spouse.

Instead, resolve your relationship problems, and if you cannot, then look for a counselor and turn your relationship with your partner or spouse into a healthy one.

Having said that all, I confess that I like the social media and the social networking sites because I only use it for professional purposes. Even if it’s for personal purposes at times, I keep it limited and in control. :)

“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” ~ Unknown

Over to You –

Have you come across any social media cheating case that destroyed someone’s marriage or even relationship? What precautions do you take while interacting on the social networking sites? Do you think the relationships formed through the social media can pose a threat to a spouse or partner? Share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos, Don Hankins

source: http://www.aha-now.com/social-media-cheating/